I grew up in a ridiculously large family, and you would think that with so much evidence of procreation around us, there would have been some open discussions about sex, but sex was rarely mentioned in my household. Body parts having to do with reproduction were referred to as plumbing and we sensed from an early age that any mention of sex was a bad idea.
We were allowed to watch violent cartoons, westerns, and murder mysteries, but any TV program with the merest hint of sex was promptly switched off, leading me to think that it must be worse to have sex than it was to kill people.
Growing up Catholic compounded the problem. We were taught that it was a grave sin to even think about sex or to touch our own bodies.
I remember walking home from confession with my younger sister who was much braver and more independent than I was. She told me she didn’t entertain impure thoughts; impure thoughts entertained her. I marveled at her courage in the face of something that could result in eternal damnation, but I couldn’t shake the guilt that haunted me.
My experience isn’t unique. Sex is great, but in general, Americans don’t seem to be very good at grasping this fact and making the most of it. We’re bombarded every day with sexual images but few of us have had the benefit of good sex education. We are steeped in misinformation and stereotypes, and we are inundated with ridiculous and harmful legislation that sucks the joy out of sex and heightens the dangers.
The ignorance, guilt, and shame of my childhood played out in various disastrous scenarios for me and for some of my siblings. Fortunately, as I got older, I met friends and lovers who helped me move past that toxicity and I learned to embrace and appreciate sexuality for the gift that it is.
Learning is a lifelong process and I’m still learning about sex and my sexual self. Learning to prioritize sex even when I don’t have a partner. Learning to not reflexively revert to my puritanical roots when confronted with something new. Learning not to judge other people’s sexual choices. Learning to explore and have fun.
The older I get, the more I appreciate the fact that when done correctly, sex is healthy, joyful, and life-affirming. It’s great for our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. It’s a powerful way to connect with ourselves and with others. Making good sex a priority can enhance every aspect of our lives.
Which is why I was thrilled to find the Sexploratorium in Denver, and to meet the founder Fawn O’Brietzman, a woman who radiates joy and positive energy. The museum is a warm, welcoming space and I felt at home the minute I entered it.
There’s a gift shop full of fun merchandise, and interesting books, and the bathroom is covered in a jaw dropping mural that looks like something out of a particularly wonderful dream. The museum portion is a beautifully curated space with a treasure trove of historical information about human sexuality.
A friend and I spent a long time in the museum, reacquainting ourselves with things we knew, and learning things we had never come across before.
I found myself feeling a deep sense of gratitude to the sexual pioneers who worked tirelessly to unravel the mysteries of human sexuality and who braved condemnation and persecution in their efforts to help us have healthier sexual experiences and better lives.
That gratitude deepened as I honored the writers, artists and performers who celebrated sexuality and portrayed it as the healthy, joyous, and profound experience it is meant to be.
I felt a connection to all the people who came before me as I realized that sexual pleasure and the various ways to achieve it (e.g., sex toys) have been around since the beginning of civilization.
This is sex education as it should be, joyful, curious, fun, and engaging.
After thoroughly immersing ourselves in education and entertainment, we relaxed with a CBD-infused soda and then perused the gift shop. Fawn was kind enough to share some of her favorite books with us and gave us a calendar of events. I was blown away by the variety of workshops and social events they hold. There is literally something for everyone.
If there is anything you ever wanted to learn, explore, or celebrate, this is the place for it. If you’re lucky enough to live in Denver, it’s a destination to return to frequently. If you’re not a Denver resident, I urge you to take a trip to this marvelous city and treat yourself to this vibrant, healthy and inspirational space.
Thank you for reading.
Eileen Blake
