Happy Holidays! I am not a religious person, but I treasure the holidays, particularly Christmas for what it represents and this quote from Dickens expresses my feelings perfectly.
“I have always thought of Christmas time as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.”
This year we need that sentiment more than ever. We are coming to the end of a year of unprecedented greed, savagery, and cruelty, most of it perpetrated by people who claim to be Christians.
I have been comforting myself with thoughts of the many people who believe in the spirit of Christmas as Dickens described it; the volunteers at food pantries, the people on social media reaching out to those who are lonely or drumming up support for those in need, the protestors who are risking their personal safety to speak out against cruelty, and the elected officials who are calling for justice and doing their best to shield their citizens from harm.
This week I found myself remembering a recent incident when so called “Christian values” came up against the open minded and open-hearted values I gravitate towards.
I’ve written about the polyamory conference I attended in November and the wonderful people I met there. Two of those people were there as vendors for their company Kinks and Crafts.
We met the day before the conference began because they were kind enough to reach out to the other vendors to see if anyone wanted to get together. I was having a bad day and spending time with them was just the pick me up I needed.
They represented everything I admire about polyamorous people, intelligent, warm, kind, and vibrant. The conversation flowed easily and the next day, I walked into my first vendor experience feeling more confident and at ease because I was among friends.
The poly conference was one of a couple of events being held that weekend. There were also several people there for some type of martial arts related celebration.
One of the men attending the martial arts celebration approached Eva and asked what the poly conference was about. She explained it to him, and he informed her that as a Christian, he couldn’t support polyamory.
It would have been appropriate and understandable for her to tell him that no one was asking him to support other people’s deeply personal choices but instead, she told him that she had grown up attending Christian schools and had been taught to be kind and loving towards people, a belief that she still held and lived. He thought about this for a moment and said, “Well, I can’t argue with that.”
During the conference, I learned more about Eva and Andrew and their personal and professional lives. Their day jobs involve working at a non-profit organization and their personal circle of friends includes a single mother struggling to make ends meet. They consider her and her children to be family and devote a great deal of time to helping her.
Many years ago, I was a struggling single mother, and I know how much every act of kindness large and small can make a difference in someone’s life.
Eva and Andrew’s kindness towards other people, even the people who pass judgement on them, is a wonderful illustration of the spirit of the holidays and how that spirit can be celebrated year-round.
This year more than ever I hope for peace on earth as well as comfort and joy to those who demonstrate kindness, generosity, and good cheer.
I know how dark this year has been, but I hope you will find hope in the goodness that exists and I would encourage you to look for it in new and unexpected places and to celebrate it at every opportunity.
Thanks for reading.
Eileen Blake
