I did it! I moved to a place I had never seen before. It took weeks of effort and a four-day drive across five states, but I did it, and I did it because I wanted to, not because I had to.
The week before I left, someone asked me what I would miss most about the place I was leaving. A place I had never wanted to live in. A place I was glad to escape.
My first thought was “nothing.” But that wasn’t completely true. There were a few things I enjoyed there. One of them was the view from my apartment. It had steeply rising hills with changing light and shadows, and it could be breathtakingly beautiful.
The other thing I would miss was my friend Ivan. I smile every time I think about Ivan, and I giggle when I recall how we met.
My last move didn’t go so well. I was newly single, heartsick, bitter, frightened, and faced with having to rebuild my life from scratch in a place that made me physically, mentally, and emotionally uncomfortable.
I didn’t have a car for the first few months and had to rely on ride share programs which were inconvenient and expensive. Now and then when I found a driver I particularly liked, I would ask them if they were interested in a regular gig as my driver but scheduling issues etc., meant that everyone I asked said “no.”
Ivan’s answer was different. He told me he hadn’t engaged in that kind of arrangement since someone had attempted to kidnap him but because I didn’t seem to be the kidnapping type, he agreed to be my driver four days a week.
My new city was filled with all types of crime, but kidnapping hadn’t even occurred to me! I was so startled, I didn’t think to ask for the details of his experience. I was just grateful to have someone I felt comfortable with driving me around an unfamiliar city.
As I settled into my new job and new life, Ivan was there greeting me with a smile and making me laugh with funny stories of his day and the people he met.
He commiserated with me as I adjusted to my new job, rejoiced with me when things went well, and empathized with me as I picked up the pieces of my life and started over.
He drove me to my first Meetup event so I could try to build a social life, and he offered support and encouragement each step of the way.
By the time I had a car of my own, we had become friends, and we would periodically get together for drinks or a meal and share stories of our jobs, travels, and personal histories.
He encouraged me to publish my first book and gave me business advice as I navigated the world of self-publishing. And he made time in his busy schedule to have dinner with me before I set out for my new home.
I’ve moved a lot over the years with varying degrees of success. I’ve learned that each place has something good to offer if you’re open to it. Ivan was the best of the good things in my old location, and I will miss him.
